This is Too Funny

I'm not sure where this orginated, but it was too funny to pass up. Sent to me via email by a friend.

Church Ladies With Typewriters

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
--------------------------

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------

Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
--------------------------

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------

And this one just about sums them all up

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:

'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'